‘I stock shelves three days a week.’ I’m 28, a single mother, a veteran and work two part-time jobs. Should I accept my father’s offer to pay my expen…

‘I stock shelves three days a week.’ I’m 28, a single mother, a veteran and work two part-time jobs. Should I accept my father’s offer to pay my expen…

February 22, 2020 Off By administrator

Dear Quentin,

I’m a 28-year-old single mother. I joined the military when I was 18 to pay for college, and to give me time to consider what I wanted to major in. I’ve worked hard, made some financial mistakes, but I’ve managed to save a fair amount, and now I’m ready to finish college when I leave the service this fall.

Because I want to pursue a kind of intense major at a difficult school, I don’t think I should be working more than part time while I’m a full-time student. For the last few months, I’ve been working two part-time jobs in addition to my military duties to save up for my monthly shortfall while I’m in school.

I spend my weekend mornings making donuts, and I stock shelves at a grocery store three days a week. I don’t earn a lot or get much sleep, but it allows me to save some money and still spend time with my son, which I can do as both my sisters live with me.

Read more of Quentin Fottrell’s Moneyist column here.

Yesterday, my dad told me that he thinks I’m being stretched too thin, but I pointed out that I worked a similar number of hours weekly while I was deployed. He is so worried that he made me an offer: If I quit my second part-time job, he’ll pay me the amount I would have earned there every month.

He doesn’t want me to get sick or be too tired to enjoy my son growing up. I initially accepted his offer because he seemed so worried and earnest. I admit that I liked the thought of no more 90-hour weeks. Now, I’m having second thoughts, mostly because I can’t shake the feeling that it isn’t fair.

He’s approaching retirement, and I don’t know if this would set him back. I feel that a grown person, with a kid of their own, shouldn’t be running to daddy with money trouble. My dad thinks it’s fair because he offered to pay in-state tuition for all five of his kids, and he has already paid for three.

The Moneyist: ‘He owed a lot of back taxes.’ My ex-husband forgot to split a $100,000 investment account — then he died. Can his estate come after me for the money?

He thinks it’s just another way of giving me the same benefit, but I think there’s a pretty significant difference between helping pay tuition for an 18 year old, and helping pay the mortgage for a 28-year-old. I don’t think it’s fair to my brothers and sisters.

I’ve seen from your column the shocking number of people who are either secretly resentful of or secretly resented by their siblings because of perceived unfairness. I get along with my siblings quite well, but I don’t want to give a reason for something to come…

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